Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

 Nina Dean is single, 32, and discovering for the first time the highs and lows of online dating. Along with her friend “good old Lola,” they deal with the ups and downs of relationships at this stage of life. At the same time, Nina is struggling with her father’s illness and his difficulty remembering his life, writing her third cookbook, and staying in touch with her married and coupled up friends.  This story is about relationships in their many forms - friends, family, and romance - and how Nina navigates them all. 

Photo by me

As a narrator, Nina is very introspective. Take for example the critical breakdown of messages on a dating app. Nina seems to examine the entire world this way - through a slightly critical lens that often focuses on writing as well as actions, and what message a person or action may be sending and the motive for it.  There is a lot of reflection happening, both about Nina herself as well as the people and world around her. 

Dolly Alderton uses this book as a feminist examination of relationships and double standards, gender roles in marriage and parenting, and the trials of being a woman in a modern world. The writing is romantic and poetic and honest and striking. There is a focus on relationships, memories and dating-slash-digital dating that causes them to be twined together in a way that demands reflection. Described in part as a romance, this is a romance in the sense of self, in the sense of friends, in the sense of feeling the early stages of a romance and of letting one go. 

Favorite Quote: “But those are the best things about a person— the contradictions.”